so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
