If i come over, it means nothing
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
