i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
