you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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