A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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