"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
