Dual....:-)
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
