So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
