as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
