Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
