Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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