im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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