Whatcha textin bout Willis?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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