i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
