If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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