is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize