Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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