i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
