The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
