i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
