At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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