he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
