is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dignity is for republicans.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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