doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
