So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize