Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
