This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
