we have officially lost it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
