Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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