She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize