is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
