Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
