Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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