mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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