My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
