i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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