you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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