She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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