the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
