You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
