I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All the doctor said was why
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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