So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
