Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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