9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
