She's JV to your varsity
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
