I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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