that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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