I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
