I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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