I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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