Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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