so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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