You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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