butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
