I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
