Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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