i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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