Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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