I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
