I think I am morally bankrupt
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
