Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
