She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Randomize
