On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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