I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
