Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
