I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
