So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
